You know there’s a certain limit where you can handle people changing schedules, changing decisions, and I have to relate to everybody the changes and apologizing when needed cos’ of the EVER growing turning around decisions that big or small people make.

But today, it cuts like a knife through butter and although I know it can’t be helped, neither can I stop the great boiling and steaming feeling of having to clean up yet another postponed schedule. But this time, today itself was when I confirmed with ALL the locations, ALL the people who handles this locations and getting approvals and passes and THEM preparing for OUR arrival on that day. And I have to call them back tmr or email them becos tmr is a fuckin holiday, that I’m sorry but we have to postpone (I believe this is the third time i’m postponing the same shoot) the shoot cos one of our cast is unable to attend the shoot! Great! And it was just this afternn i confirmed everything so that I can concentrate on the shoot tmr…

Now why you say this isn’t so fucked up as it sounds right? Yah of course..i just need to say sorry to all these people. What I hate to swallow about this is:
1. I have to fucking swallow this and put up a thin smile and say ok, sure I’ll settle this.
2. My intention of clearing everything up about Monday by today so I can just worry about the shoot tmr.
3. Whatever can go wrong will go wrong and that is so $#@%^!&%#$*! true that I feel like beating someone up to a pulp or burn someone alive.

Gosh I’m feeling so angry and trashy and I feel so evil and unsmiling and unhappy and all the evil thoughts in the world are infesting in my brains for my evilness to flow through. And what I don’t like people saying is that APs are usually the ones..this… the ones that… blah blah blah..

YAH I KNOW! Can they just shut up and let me handle it on my owN??! That’s suppose to be consoling and helpful??! Gosh it makes me more boiling mad and PISSED OFF hearing that. Fuck man… APs are fucking humans too. The makeup artist sometimes think i’m relaxing or something… wtf… today really fucked day man… the pissed off mood was building up since afternn with small mini mini issues which can be brushed off as nothing… but SEE, now im putting everything into a ball and blaming everybody!

I’m saying fuck 8 times in a row…. bloody hell…